Sunday, July 8, 2012


Something that’s been on my mind a lot lately is how much more we, the members of humanity, have in common with each other than not. I’ve been seeing how on the most basic levels we all want the same things: We want our families to be together and to be well. We want enough clean and healthy food and water to eat and drink. We want clean, comfortable, and safe shelter for ourselves and our loved ones. We want to find a way to contribute to the world that fulfills us, and ways to express ourselves creatively. We want freedom from personal violation.

Finding a love that is pure and true in another person is something that many of us do during this lifetime. In fact, I believe that more of us do find true love than don’t, and that we all can if we love ourselves in a healthy way and clear our lives of blockages to love. Now that I have found the one person I love so much that I truly want to spend every single day of my life with him, the person I love for who he is, not for how he makes me feel about myself, I am simultaneously filled with fear, joy, and compassion.

I experience fear because now I truly have something to lose. Although I certainly do count my family (as in, my parents and siblings) as “something to lose,” and think about their well-being often, I now have a new dimension to this loving concern. This person is someone whose existence I feel is grafted to mine, as if we are attached to one another as equals on a spiritual and emotional level. This is the person with whom, bli ain hara, I would like to start a family of our own, a new generation of the family from whence I came.  When my thoughts are idle or getting too focused on things I “lack,” I remind myself to just say “thank you” for this person. And I do. Over and over again. I do not intend to ever stop.

I feel joy at having found this person who loves me without trying to control or change me, who accepts me for who I am and whom I accept just as completely. It’s funny that I use the word “completely,” because I do feel completed by this person. But I do not feel completed in the sense that I was a mere shell of a person before who needed another person to be whole. I mean that being with this person adds another dimension of wholeness to myself and my life. There’s a clicking sensation in my solar plexus, a feeling of two puzzle pieces made out of light and energy snapping together in that perfectly satisfying way. There is a third entity that we create by uniting our lives and that entity is home.

And finally, I feel compassion towards my fellow living beings on this earth in a brand new way. Up until this point in my life, I have viewed my experience and the experiences of others through the lens of daughter, sister, individual, girl, woman, artist, teacher, student, worker, creature. Now I have a new lens to add to my personal array: the lens that is myself as a part of a whole. I think of history and history in the making. I think of families separated by war, poverty, illness, strife, hardship, stress, physical transition. I work in a job that may not pay me the money that I need right now to support us both until he gets permission to work on one piece of Earth or another, but that allows me to meet hundreds of people per day. Stressed people, calm people, sad, angry, happy people. And their children, parents, babies. I smile at every child and baby. I allow myself to see myself in each person I meet. I force myself to do so when I’m not exactly inspired.

In this time of transition on our beautiful home planet, our only one, I think we all feel it and know there is change afoot. And on one level or another, we think about how we’re going to ride the proverbial wave, maybe we wonder whether we can even stay afloat. I say “thank you,” for the gift of this beautiful relationship with another person because it has given me a way to get over myself and to love the whole more than the portion of it. Because what I see is that really, with the exception of a terrified and drunken few (and even they, in their heart of hearts, I hope), we all have those same desires. We all want to be free from separation from our loved ones, and from their suffering which leads to our own. We do, in fact, want to be free from suffering in all its forms. We just want to be allowed to live our lives, and to be together here with the ones we love. The more freedom we have to do that, the more ease we have accessing food, medicine, shelter, education, creative expression, and the beauty and majesty of the intact natural world, the more freedom we will have to value the similarities between us. The more we will be able to give others the very room to breathe we may crave. The more love we’ll be able to have for the whole world, and not just our little yet precious families.

Or maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe we need to have that vision of the big picture, of the real possibility of the harmonious whole, in our minds and hearts in order to access the same in our little piece of it.  I am certain we are doing just that.  

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